Cool Guys Don't Look at Explosions

So I recorded the MTV Movie Awards and got to see the whole thing for the first time last night. There were some pretty funny things. Here's one of my favorite highlights. Will Ferrell is the man.

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Happy Birthday Justin

28 years ago my wonderful husband entered the world, and today we get to celebrate!! Wasn't he the cutest little guy?

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What makes a Super Hero?

Seriously? What makes a Superhero. Is it the ability to fly, or shoot super webs, or acquire super strength? I guess I have always assumed that it takes more than an average joe trying to “clean up the streets.” But I was wrong!

For those of you who may not have saw the recent news two days ago, did you know that Ohio has its own Superhero?? It really does. ShadowHare is cleaning up the streets of Cincinnati right now as we speak. It’s amused me to the point that I HAVE to share it with you.






So back to the question, what makes a Superhero…

A SUPER costume! And acts that are SUPERB!

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Trust

We all know too well the downturn that the economy has been in. Fortunately, We are finally seeing the spark of hope or the light at the end of the long tunnel in many areas of the economy..For the past several months Justin and I have felt as if we were walking on eggshells financially. On one hand, we both have jobs, we are stable and doing just fine. We feel that we are at a point in our lives that we want to invest in a home. On the other hand-- there was the tyranny of the what if, "what if one of us lose our jobs, what if the economy plunges even more, what if prices of groceries, gas and everything under the sun becomes too much to handle." What if.

For Justin and I, its hard not being behind the control panel of our lives. Recently, our church went through a series "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" with Pete Scizzaro. It was extremely revealing of our hearts, our motivations, and fears. For me, I came to a point where I had to accept that I am not in control of my life, and accept the outcome of our future whether it makes no sense in my mind.

With all that being said, Justin went in to work. For those who may not know, he works for Norfolk and Southern Railroad . He was hired on a little under a year ago, which puts him (ranking wise) as a peon. Norfolk- like most companies have been hit pretty hard by the economic downturn. In any case, Justin went into work this past week and found out that chances are they are going to do some more layoffs. He may have missed the layoffs once, but there would be no way for him to miss them again.

It's hard trying to see God's big picture through a little peeping hole. We always try to figure out why things in our lives happen, when in our minds it makes no sense! This one of those situations where we have absolutely no control.

We can only trust and know with every part of us that God's ways are so much higher, and His ways are so much better for us than anything we can fathom. For now, we will hope in the fact that God is behind the control panel of our lives and he is a just God.

"And they who know Your name [who have experience and acquaintance with Your mercy] will lean on and confidently put their trust in You, for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek (inquire of and for) You [on the authority of God's Word and the right of their necessity]."Psalm 9: 10

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Jimmy Needham

Justin and I have quite a bit in common. It was one of the obvious things that attracted us to each other. BUT the one thing that we could never ever agree upon was music. It seemed that when it came to music, we were on two totally different worlds. I love county, southern gospel, and slow coffee shop type music, where Justin loves the rock groups, and even some of the screaming music. For me, when he plays his music it hits a nerve. I can't think straight!

With that all said, this past week Justin found an artist, Jimmy Needham and we BOTH love his music! I have been listening to him nonstop. I don't know much about him other than his music is amazing! The music has a very old feel to it and his lyrics sounds straight out of a personal journal. Very intimate. His music is very reminiscent of Shuan Groves, and Shane and Shane, two groups that I absolutely love.

If Justin can like this guy, anyone can. Great music that is defiantly worth a listen.

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TGIF!

Thank goodness it's Friday! I have no real plans other than my FINAL Upward game tomorrow, and that is very intentional. This weekend I am going to make it a priority to do absolutly nothing! :) :) :) Upwards has been great and I have enjoyed doing the cheerleader coaching thing, but my mind AND body are ready for a vacation.

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Moments in Time

So I have realized that our lives are defined by moments. I realize that more every single day. Justin and I are young, newly married (just over a year), no children, and are still trying to figure out some of the big things in life. Our calling, house, kids, etc.. Everyday we are still asking God whats the big picture, Do you want this? Is this it?

I guess in my own mind I have always figured that God is going to make this huge entrance and send his angels down to say" This is it, this is what I have saved you for. This is my plan" The angels would be saying this to us all while handing us the scroll filled with the details of the golden timeline of our lives.....

But, it's obviously not the case.

I have realized that Justin and I have already made some huge decisions. We asked Christ into our hearts. We went to CBC. We dated. We married. We quit our jobs in C-ville. We moved here. And in each situation, they were triggered my small unnoticble moments. It is the moments, the forks in the road, the decision to stop, the decision to speed up, the choosing the wrong direction or the right direction that defines our lives. And they happen like a flash of light- gone before you realized it had arrived.

A phone call.

An accident.

A meeting.

A hurtful comment.

A moment.

And those God ordained moments, those mind/opinion changing spaces of time have the most sensitive triggers. One minute your living your life as you know it, and the next your on the phone with someone you havent spoken with in years (whom you eventually marry). They take on a life all of their own. Moments. They shape us, define us..

But each one has made me who I am and placed me where I am today. So I guess, In my futile attempts to find the golden timeline of God's will, He has quietly been working through these moments. And I guess in this point of our lives, its hard to not beg God for a glimpse of the big picture. It's hard. But I am realizing that His plans are far beyond me and anything I can comprehend, so for now, I will just trust, and wait for the next moment.

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Marley and Me

Last night Justin brought home a couple of movies to keep me company while he went to the church board meeting, one being "Marley and Me". I guess I didn't read the reviews extensivley enough to realize that it was going to break the floodgates open the way it did. I was definatly not in the mood to be sitting in the dark living room, eating brownies, and sobbing, yes sobbing uncontrollably. But thats what ended up happening.

Justin came home long after the movie had ended. By this time I had recovered, and was enjoying a nice episode of "The Biggest Loser" . He walked in the door, "So, how was 'Marley and Me," he asked. I began to explain the movie, and in mid explanation I began sobbing AGAIN! Geesh, talk about a train wreck. lol.. I do not think I had cried that much since Leonardo died in the Titanic.

But, In all honesty, I don't think the movie was that heart wrenching- it's just been a weird week.

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Just trying this out

Hooray! I just figured out how to post pictures directly from my email! I know, I am so behind in times with the blogworld..

Anyway-This is my adorable little nephew, Acie James.. Isn't he the cutest??!

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I am a tweeter!!

I joined twitter about 7 months ago and completely forgot about it. Randomly I found out that a couple people were following me, so I thought, why not give this a try. This will be my weekly twitter trial! www.twitter.com/ambermacquarrie

Oh, and like always, I go MIA with this blog...This is also a trial session for blogging again. I have realized that I am in desperate need of an outlet, a hobby, something.! So that's why I am all of a sudden trying or re-trying all these new things. Justin is now on a completely different shift, so I am going insane!!!

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I guess today I am a little more introspective that normal. Not really sure why- just am. Well, I take that back- most of the time when I have my days of introspection I have either a. read/watched/experienced something awe inspiring, or b. Was asked to write or speak or something in which I have to take time out to focus on me. It’s good for me, because I am forced to think of what God has done in my life.

Today Dave asked for a brief testimony. I did one last week and pained me to not be able to find it this morning. So, like always, I sat down and began to think. It’s hard to give an accurate testimony when you have a mere two paragraphs to work with. This isn’t the first time I was asked to give a brief testimony and I doubt it will be the last- but each time I find myself wanting to give detailed story after story of how God has moved in different parts of my life, but is more often than not summarized to sentences like “I am blessed.” I know, cliché. So- In honor of those untold stories- I bring you segments of my testimony.


Ehhh emm…

Looking back into my high school years, I laugh at my dramatic application to life. After accepting Christ at 15, I instantly labeled myself the victim. Growing up in the “non-church going” environment I played it up as if I a victim held captive in my own skin. I looked down on my family, and their “non-Christian” ways regardless of how loving and capable they were. I was one of those kids who constantly journaled, and wrote sad poetry, who fought and picked at the world around me. I complained at the drop of a hat and had little regard for others.

Looking back at the mental qualities that I possessed I find it hard to believe there was a youth leader who could care—but there was.

The Barth family loved each one of us kids—even when we were unlovable. When we fought, and disagreed, when we hated each other- they loved. When we rode to King’s Island fighting over whose music gets played and bickered at the drop of a hat. They kept their house open to us at all times, when they knew that we were less than loyal to them, when we were undeserving, even when they were having problems themselves. There wasn’t a wrong question or something too stupid to talk about they were above all—our friends.

I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that over half of that small group that met in high school is serving in some capacity of ministry. I just don’t. I give credit to the couple, who above all, listened to God and not everyone around them. Who were real with us, and didn’t use church terms, that answered our questions with their heart- not a manuscript, or just scripture without explaining it to us.

Through their ministry- a passion was ignited. They introduced the idea of having a relationship with God, not just a religion about Him.

Their ministry was life changing.

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cicadas

I hate cicadas. I hate them. To be completely honest, I cannot recall a real encounter with cecadas until Winchester. Here in Winchester there is an epidemic that is sweeping Adam’s county. Cecadas. Don’t know what they are? me neither a couple weeks ago. They are huge, quarter sized bugs that buzz louder than I can scream. Although they don’t sting or bite (at least I don’t think) they have no fear! They will swarm around you, get in your clothes, fly in your car, they almost flew in Justin’s mouth. They leave little shells all over the place too. They are GROSS.

The other day, I decided to lay out and try to soak up some sun. I am pasty white and I need help-lol. As soon as I walked out and laid down on the towel it was like a piece of meat just laid down in front of a pack of coyotes. I was swarmed by cicadas. They were flying on me, around me, laying on me. People, it was a horror movie. As danced my way back to the door- I vowed to never touch one of the insects from hell again. That was last week.
So last Sunday Justin and I were in the car after morning service heading to the nearest restaurant when he goes “ is there a Cicada in the car? I’m hearing some buzzing?” Of course I instantly freak and begin to slap my arms and legs in hopes of not finding a little cedaca tucked away in some portion of my body- luckily I didn’t. But he still insisted that he heard something. So I begin scanning the vehicle until the little shiney golden bug met me eye to eye on justin’s seat belt. Of course I begin belting giberish in hopes of communicating that I had found it when Justin reaches over- grabs the bug by the wings and proceeds to PUT IT IN MY FACE. imagine the horror. The buzzing. It still gives me chills. I wont lie, a mad woman came out of me that day. I began screaming, kicking, and clawing Justin. What seemed to be worse is that with every passing second of my screaming insanity, Justin seemed to laugh, and laugh…..and laugh….

after that/ I’ve realized that I hate them. I hate them more than spiders and snakes. A least spiders and snakes will try to get away from you- Cecadas will crawl all over you without fear and buzz like they are in heat… If you plan on visiting Adams County- beware.

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Life in the small town

So I think I am starting to get the hang of the small town living- actually- I really like it. The first couple of weeks were a little eerie, I must admit. I mean, I wasn’t used to walking into the post office and the guy standing behind me that I have never seen in my life say “g’mornin Amberrr”… In which I responded (with confused weird look) good morning??
people knowing my name right off the bat- that’s just weird. or going into the bank and getting the “hows married life?” from complete strangers that knew nothing about me- or- at least I knew nothing about them.. It wasn’t bad, it was just weird for me.. As the past three weeks have passed I am starting to grow accustom to seeing familiar faces in a tight-knit community- and I like it. I think I know more people in this community than I ever did in Circleville.

Anyway, Yesterday, I finally got the chance to speak to Megan and Amy which was so nice..My phone service still stinks, but the weather was so nice that I just sat outside and talked.. After chit chatting a little on the phone Jeni, Craig, Justin and I took a walk around Winchester, went to this little ice cream shop called ‘S & S’ and explored the town..! I felt like I was 13 years old again running around with my posse and eating ice cream. During the long walk We passed by some older houses for sell. Justin and I were a little curious so we peeked inside the windows, walked around the yard and checked out the place. Today Justin called the owners and one thing led to another and now we have an appointment to look at a house on Sat! It’s on older house- a definate fix-er-up-er but who knows!

to be continued!~

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Suddenly...

Today is the first day in a long time that I have had the time to sit down and blog. First of all, I have to address my dear friends that have been calling me relentlessly and have yet to hear from me, and are beginning to believe that I was just a figment of their imagination…ehhh emmm…. (falling to my knees) FORGIVE ME!!! I still love you and will give you a call soon…Between not having service in Winchester, writing thank you cards, starting a new job and still unpacking I have found little time to chit chat. Again, I love you guys- every little single one of you..

But for now, here is an update..

Justin and I are back and are settling into life in the small town of Winchester OH… We both wake up every morning completely baffled at where we are today- together- in Winchester. Although we have only been married for 3 weeks I am completely awed at how lucky I am to have Justin as a husband. He makes me a better Amber.

All of this change has caused a lot of reflection lately…It seems as Madonna said “Life is full of suddenlys”..It seems it was yesterday that Suddenly I accepted Christ as a 15 year old confused freshmen unsure of what tomorrow would be.. And Suddenly Pastor Gary was talking to me about attending CBC…And Suddenly I found my first-world-self standing in a third world country accepting a call much bigger than myself…And Suddenly I walked across the stage to receive my BA in Psychology…And Suddenly I found myself completely in love with a guy I had looked over for 4 years.. And Suddenly I wake up in Winchester working for a Church, married to the love of my life… Suddenly

It’s crazy…

But regardless of how happy we are, it is still so weird to be in Winchester. Even today it feels surreal to wake up not in Circleville- to jump in my car and not go to OCU… It’s weird. Today I got a call from the college, Kay Humble- she worked in an entirely different department at OCU and was calling to verify some info for the church. My heart nearly jumped out my chest just to hear a voice from the college. So, I do miss everyone.. Working for the church has been a good adjustment though. I am excited for Justin and I to see how the Lord is going to use us together here.. It feels good to be apart of a church family again- very much needed. There are so many opportunities here for us, but we are trying to discern what exactly God has us here for rather than just jump into every opportunity, which by the way, is so stinkin hard for me... But I long to know what exactly God has saved me for, and What God has perfectly planned out for our lives. So for now, A new chapter in life is beginning.

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Please pass the podcast….

So I believe I have found a new love- the podcast. I'm serious. If you would have told me that I would love the podcast two weeks ago- I'd probably respond with a "whaaa??".

You see, I 'm not tech savvy, I have an ancient box of a computer so downloading isn't exactly a pastime. I have bent over backwards to NOT become one of the dorks who watch televangelists and listen to PODevangelists. But I must confess, the other night around 8 pm , I stumbled across the beauty of the podcast. "Well, I am doing homework, so… It be nice to listen to something" I thought. I downloaded one podcast, secretly. I mean, it was just one…

The pod experience was euphoric. I laughed, I almost cried, I blogged.. I listened to the entire series…. Then another… and another, and another…. Around 2 am, I woke from the pod-trance. That night I went to bed trying to convince myself that it was the homework that kept me up, but I secretly knew the truth. The next day I sat at work shifting back and forth in my chair trying to pry my mind of the best writers, musicians and artists "I wonder if they have a podcast… I wonder…."

I was running to the computer checking out the newest podcasts … It was bad..

It's not easy to admit that you have a problem. I know.

So. With all that said. I'm starting a podcast- just letting you know. It's not that big of a deal, seriously…

But Look for updates when the first episode is posted.

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Mishaps of Ministry

So last night is over… Obviously. But it’s a little surreal for me.

In case you haven’t caught up with me, I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the past month because of the first 2007 visit day/ nightly concert—Both events in which I had oversaw. Mind you, this is the first time I had ever oversaw these kinds of events, so the whole experience was very educational.
I woke up this morning feeling like a new day. No, not because they are both over, but because I feel that God worked in both events. The visit day produced all of 12 people who came and spent the day on OCU campus. All 12 submitted applications, and the concert produced somewhere between 100-150 people. Of course the numbers were a bit shabby, but I really really felt like God worked in the Shaun Groves concert. 13 children were sponsored, and healing began to take place in the lives of individuals.

Somewhere between the fourth song and the last min of the concert, Shaun began to describe the church for the 20’s age group today. Non- existent. As I look around the room, I began replaying the stories of the individuals who surrounded me. When you become part of the small college community, it’s pretty hard to not get to know everyone, their mom, and their first cousin’s dog. I’ve hear a lot of “church stories” most with a sad ending. As I looked around the room, I saw broken people all within the 20 somes age range who hung their head as he talked about the neglect the 20 somes feel. I saw tears. I heard sniffles. I saw body language that feared exposure. The stench of brokenness hung over the 100-150 people who sat in the huge auditorium. I could relate… I felt broken…

He talked about the church who reminds us what we are saved from rather than what we are saved for.. Sometimes, I think we need to be reminded what we are saved for. What does Christ want to do through me? As early youth we are taught in the church that we can be anything, do anything, God has no limitations or barriers.. We cannot be held down. This is not bad, not at all…But I think that because of this, 20-some Christians today were never taught to deal with barriers and obstacles that would hinder them from ministry. I think we have a lot of 20-some Christian visionaries. Visionaries who were never taught the art of execution… They weren’t aware of the real barriers and obstacles that would arise and were never taught how to deal with them so we stay in our happy safe place where we can dream about the perfect church with the perfect ministries, because we are afraid of the obstacles and the unknown outcome. My generation is afraid of failure.

For example… I know that I have a heart for the mission field…I have felt a distinctive call to missions work almost 5 years ago. But I also know that if God said “go now”. My actions may be limited by financial barriers, emotional barriers and the tyranny of the “what if.” What if I’m not effective? What if I can’t raise the money?

Faith. It’s a simple truth that has been quenched from our instant gratification generation. We live in a world of minimum barriers, instant emails, and self help books. If something is too difficult and there is no easy way around, we give up.
Anyway, sorry for rambling, I suppose I have just came to grips with some of my own flaws and mishaps of ministry. Anyway, I’m curious, what do you think about the mindset and roles of the 20-somes age group of the church?

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Shaun Groves is coming!

Have I mentioned that Shaun Groves will be here on the 28th of Sep? He's working real hard...

Check this out.

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TGIF!

So it is Friday, thank goodness! The week has been a long grueling week of preparation for this fall, and as crazy as this week is, I know that next week is going to be even more hectic. I finished two grad school classes, paid all my bills, registered a trillion incoming freshmen and gave the ACT three times (three hour test)… So TGIF people!
I am spending my weekend in the wonderful little town of Winchester OH, where I am going to do a whole lot of nothing, which is sweet. I have no set plans, can you believe that?

Anyway, have a wonderful weekend, and you will here from me soon!

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When the Lights Go Out

So this past week has been hectic and crazy and nonstop and .. pheww. With the beginning of classes just around the corner this is undoubtedly the busiest time of the year for me.

So yesterday at work the lights went out. All of the electric throughout the entire campus just shut down, and for the entire day the staff were limited in what could be done. Initally, we all panicked. With classes and orientation and registration and life starting up in the next week, each of us began darting throughout the office like a chicken with it's head cut off. "But I have this meeting and this email that needs to go out and this file that needs to be sent and this and and and" …

Each of us had a to do list the size of Texas.

So after utter frutation with working in the darkness, we all migrated into the lobby area of the building that I work in. We sat. Ackwardly we listened to the silence and tried to force conversation as with each passing minute we fall behind in our schedule. The minutes turned to hours.

And then it happened.

It the midst of the silence, as if we all just caught the punch line to the joke we've heard a hundred times—We laughed. I'm not sure why, but for me, I laughed because I realized the absurdity of worrying, what little good it really does. I laughed because I think God did this on purpose—no, I know he did.

We loosened our ties (so to speak) sat back, and began to enjoy the dark room. We told jokes and stories and laughed about random things. It was one of the first times that I actually sat down with my co-workers, especially the co-workers that work on the opposite side of the buiding, and really got to know them. It was nice. It was needed.

Why is that? Why is it that God sometimes has to literally shut the business out of your life to get you to open your eyes to the guy down the hall in financial aid, who just happens to be preparing for daddyhood for the first time (with twins). Why is that?

It reminded me of the times at home. In Portsmouth, occasionally we would get hit by one of those massive storms that completely wipe out all electronic devices. No phone, to lights, no TV… nothing. And I remember as a child, and even most recently in my early college years, cherishing those times.

We would light every candle in the house, lay on the floor drinking kool aid and make a shadow puppets until our little arms had turned to jelly. And when we would get tired, we would just lay in the silence and listen to the rain… All of the family together.

Sometimes, I think God has to turn off the world to make you see what's actually right under your nose, at least he did for me.

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Falling for God...

I think you would’ve liked to meet Alma and Avery, my grandparents. My grandpa past away in 1995. My grandma, now 90 years old, is still a picture of health.
They fell in love in their early twenties in the hills of Kentucky, as they stayed that way for over 60 years.

Avery, and hard working N&W Railroad employee would spend hour and hours widdling with his tiny pocket knife on the back porch of their small white house in the heart of Southern Ohio. Alma stayed home and poured love into their five children, about 3,000 pots of her famous chicken and dumplins, and homemaid cherry pies. Avery liked to poke and tease Alma over anything he could get her to grin over. They were recklessly in love.

Once a week they would pack up their little white car and head to Sunday morning service in a tiny Freewill Baptist Church about a 30 min. drive south, in Kentucky. No instruments were at the church, just the voices of about 30 brothers and sisters in Christ. I remember listening to grandma sing all the way home. Seven days a week they would sit at the kitchen table, bow for prayer, and share a meal together. They never spent and evening away for the other. They were enmeshed.
Their marriage was for better or for worse- but mostly for the better.

As years past on and health began to fade, I as a small child, watched intently as Alma and Avery grew closer together. Avery had a heart condition and needed constant support in maneuvering throughout the house. My 100lb. grandma would drap her arm around my 6ft grandpa each and every day, 24hrs a day, for the last 5-6 years of his life and assisted in carrying the burden that my grandpa so bravely carried. I watched on the days he could hardly lift his own foot as my grandma would jump to his every whim and cater to his every need. I watched in those years as the “I love you”s became more frequent, the “Thank you”s became more sincere, the pauses in prayer before they said a final ‘amen’ , it was as if they were sharing a moment just for the two of them ...Alma was Avery’s light, and Avery was Alma’s. I, as a 12 year old 5th grader found discomfort with the “lovey- dovey- ewwy-gooeyness” of it all, so I found ease in faking an obliviousness to the obvious. But I would secretly watch. Secretly. Have you ever felt as if you were eavesdropping on something so amazing, so beautiful that it draws your attention so strongly? This was what I experienced every evening with my grandma and grandpa.


Today, when reading the ‘top’ relationship books and articles, I laugh at some perspectives. I laugh because some authors would say that Alma and Avery were too close—too enmeshed. Perhaps, but I don’t think so. I think the two were entwined in a wonderful way. Independence is the key, “Me time” I’ve heard said is important in a relationship. For the lives of Alma and Avery—the only time was “their time”. Alma would deny every hope of her own to fulfill the hopes of Avery, and Avery would deny every hope of his own to fulfill the hope of Alma.

Alma and Avery were just a couple ‘uneducated’ ordinary Kentucky folk who “got it.”They discovered a simple secret and acted on it—to realize the true value of one anthor and spend enormous amounts of time together.

Ya know, it makes me think. Developing a relationship with God is similar to developing a relationship like the one Alma and Avery had—no, it’s exactly like that.
As Gary Moon said it in his book Falling for God “ Transforming Love requires time and a vision of forever.”

That’s the requirement of falling head over heels in Love.

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