Friday, July 09, 2010


Well I am so glad that Friday is here. Not to say it was a long week. It actually felt like it flew by for me being that the 4th was this past weekend and we all got an extra day. In any case, I so look forward to weekends with Avery and of course Justin too. It just seems that my time with them is so precious to me. Especially seeing how quickly Avery changes from week to week.

Lately I haven't posted a whole lot. And for that, I am sorry. I have had some decisions on my mind and heart that have kinda kept me in a fogged state of mind. I can't start to post without the 'decisions' coming up. So-I thought, what better way to sort through my thoughts than to post them? Although I am not going to go into detail about anything, but what I will ask is that if you read this- pray for me.

I don't mean like "when you are finished and you find the time and IF you think about it-pray for me" "I mean, stop at this very moment and say a quick little prayer."…..

Ok.. are you finished?

The situations are not anything that is completely huge or life altering or anything that is going to hurt me… it's just life being life.. Having adult decisions that every person faces. I just want to make sure that the choices I make today will be ones that I can look back on 5-10 yrs down the road and say "I am glad I did that." With all of the boggled mind lately I have really had to be introspective. One thing that I have realized is that up until this point in my life I really don't know if I had really dealt with the difference between knowing and believing. Like, I know that God has my best interest in heart- it's just, do I believe it wholeheartly? That's so hard to answer honestly! So I am working on believing with my whole heart that God is in control of my life..

I was talking to a friend today about it all, and it just made me think. I remember working on the summer ministry team at CBC and Jim Schroder, the director of the team at that time, was trying to explain the difference between knowing and believing( I am pretty sure that it was Jim).. In any case, the lesson makes a lot of sense to me now.. He took a chair and placed in front of me and he said. "How do you know there is a chair there?" I said "well- I just know it. I can see it. It's there." Then he put a blindfold on me and turned me around and said... Now I want you to fall back in the chair.. Do you believe that the chair is there? I remember being like "I think it's still there." He said "believing takes certain amount of faith and trust. You have to have faith in me that I didn't move it... And you have to trust me enough that you will hit the chair and not the ground if you fall back .......It made sense to me then, but looking back- that little lesson really means more to me now than ever. Because I can look at the situations in my life and be like "oh yeah- I know God's there." But if I am honest-I don't know if the trust/ faith factor is there. If God says- just fall and I will take care of the rest. I struggle with the allowing myself to fall back and lose the control factor..There's always that "what if" moment.

The one thing that I really take comfort in is the fact that I know God knows my heart through and through. He knows every single ounce of me and he knows exactly how I feel and what my desires are. For that- I can rest easier.


Thursday, July 01, 2010

My little squeel monkey

This is Ave trying to communicate through squeels.


  © Free Blogger Templates Blogger Theme II by 2008

Back to TOP