Tuesday, May 31, 2011


Well, it feels a little eerie today. Last week was our vacation to the Smokeys, and up until last week when I was having a rough day I could look at the calendar and go "2 weeks until vaca!" or "2 days".. and NOW it's over. So, I'm sad. It was a great vacation so I thought I'd post some of my favorite pictures.

We had a great time on each day, making great memories.

I am already looking forward to next year's vacation, even though I don't even know where it is.

Much needed.


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Oh Harold (shakes head)

I remember the first time my grandma told me about "the rapture". I was 6 years old or so. She talked about it as any good ol' southern Baptist would. She explained how Jesus would return and take every living Christian to heaven. In the process, she said, unmanned cars would careen into homes and pedestrians, planes would collide with suburbs and skyscrapers. Ok, maybe thoes weren't her exact words, but they may as well have been.. I layed in bed, staring at the ceiling, my heart thumping..

I didn't attend church, and hadn't said the sinners prayer... but I did that night. Mainly because I was scared sick to think that I'd be left in an apocalyptic America run by the anti-Christ and his minions.

But years went by. My love for God never developed. I actaully HATED going to church with the grandparents. In the same way a child will fake illness' to skip school, I did the same with church. I remember telling grandma and papaw that the pews gave me debilitating back pain. They were wood.

And then at the age of 15 years old I was asked by a friend to attend a Christian concert. I reluctantly agreed. I hadn't stepped in church since my grandparents quit hounding me, and I wasn't in a rush to get back. But since this was a friend I decided to suck it up.

I was surprised when I actually enjoyed the concert. And then about midway through, the band leader stops and recites a passage- Matthew 7:22-24 "(A)Many will say to Me on (B)that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?'23"And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; (C)DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.'

My heart started to pound out of my chest. The leader went on to talk about judgement day, and how many will be turned because "they never knew Him". I could feel my body trying trembling, and I began to shift to find a comfortable position. I glanced around "what is going on?" I asked myself hoping to see signs that others are having the same emotional delima..But there was none. Finally the leader asked that everyone bow their heads, and asked that they repeat the sinners prayer if they felt God was leading them. So I did.

So yes, at the age of 15 I asked God to come into my heart out of fear, not at all unlike the time I did at the age of 6. But, at 15, I found Jesus through the imperfections of my motivations. I found the scriptures, and fell in love with God's heart. At I never have looked back.

So with all of the talk about rapture lately, and the continual badgering of the elderly man, Harold Camping, who is making these claims( I know I have made a few jabs), I couldn't help but wonder about every family that has been effected. How sobering is it when we consider all of the finances that have been poured into this 'ministry'..All of the lives ruined.. All of the people who, yes, out of fear made a committment to God hoping to escape Hell

And then God reminded me of my own salvation story. So I am believing that there are people out there who saw Harold's outrageous predictions and decided "I better get myself right!" And are now on a journey that they may not have started otherwise.

I saw the newest prediction from Harold Camping this morning that on October 21st the world would end. I had to bite my tounge-thoughts. (Yes, I said tounge-thoughts)... And pray for Harold and the emotional stress he must be undergoing ... And then I am reminded to trust.

I think Shaun Groves said it best in his blog "I trust that the death and resurrection of Jesus appeased a God who hates sin and turned away his wrath. I trust that He keeps His promises – that He will never leave me in this life or the next. I trust that life beside Him anywhere is better than life at a distance down here. I trust that He knows history because He is its Author. And I trust He'll forgive Harold Camping for getting it wrong on October 21st, and forgive me for not always wishing the Harolds of this world were right when they predicted a rapture."


Monday, May 16, 2011

Reality Check

When you have a child, all of a sudden there are random moments in the midst of your daily life, that you get interrupted and you hear God say"that's what I'm talking about !"
That's been me, alot. lately.
The other day Avery was literally climbing up (or at least attempting to climb up) the entertainment center. You see, on top of the entertainment center sets many coooool gadgets. Gadgets that light up, or buzz, or are just bright colored (tv. remotes, our phones, wii/ xbox controller). So when I caught him in mid action,  I ran over to Ave and picked him up. I pulled him away from all of the distractions and bent down to make eye contact. You see, every single blog and book I have came across that gives methods of discipline has said that making good eye contact with your little one is key to getting across the message. Yes, he's only 14 months old, but I know that if I do not start practicing some of this now, it will NEVER be effective.
 SO anyway-  back to the story. I caught the little monster climbing, so I picked him up and took him out of the living room. But the thing is, although I had literally removed him from the distractions and bent down to make eye contact and let him know that it was not okay to climb, his little eyes were darting across the room. He was standing right in front of me, but looking past me, squirming and whining. He was more interested in what was behind me or beside me and we seriously struggled for several minutes. I stood him in front of he and gently held his shoulders enought to keep him still....  I knew that I couldn't give up! I knew I could not just say "ok nevermind, go play" I sat there and starred so hard at him until his little eyes FINALLY met mine. It took some tears. It took some real patience. But finally, His little eyes stopped darting. His cries finally quieted down, and he looked at me in the eyes. I was able to finally say "No, you can't climb up there". Andit seemed like he got it!
So after that little ordeal happened and he was back in action playing with his toys. I sat down on the couch drinking my coffee, just thinking about how hard it was to get that simple message across. It wouldn't have taken so much energy, had he just stopped! .. And then, BAM... I could feel the presence of God. I could feel God saying to me "that's what I have to do to with you, Amber!"
So many many many times in my life and even now I can see that God is trying to teach me to look my Heavenly Father in the eyes. When there is a crisis either big or small, I will shoot up a prayer all the while my eyes are more distracted on what's on either side of my life. Although I say with my mouth, I'm trusting God, I am spiritally looking to my left and right. My focus is not Him. When I have a burden, I'm so consumed with it, that I although God is there, starring me down harrrd (like I did with Ave) I am still like a panicked mess.. When I have desires of my heart, like being home with Avery more, I rarely tell God. Instead I try to work out the kinks and finances and never truly give it to God.  I know God wants me to be still, and make eye contact, listen.. But I'm like a 14 month old child who struggles to focus on the thing right in front of my face!!
Ok. I realize that I am blabbering a little.
  But That's been my epiphany over the weekend. And I am realizing just how hard it is to stop and focus.... which makes me a little more sympathetic for the 14 month old that had to get pulled from the entertainment center a half dozen times even after "he got it"... yes I get frustrated, but I never give up on getting that message across. And I know God doesn't give up either. He's there, starring me down (in a loving way of course)!.
Anyway- I do want to apoligize for the lack of posts. I could probably list 300 reasons why I haven't posted lately, but I'm not gonig to. I will say, I was pleasantly surprised to get a few emails about some waiting on a new post. So sorry for the 3-5 people who actually read this crazy thing! ;)


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