Wednesday, September 29, 2010

the healing process

Sorry about being MIA for the past week. Craziness. That's all I can say.

If you haven't heard, Justin was in a work accident where he was badly burned on the entire right side of his body. A pipe blew up with jet fuel in it, and Justin caught the brunt of the flame. This happened this past Thursday about 5:00. That morning before the accident, I happened to forget my phone too.. So when I finally made it home from work around 5:30 I found about 2 million messages on my phone. I called the hospital who would only tell me that "your husband was in an accident at work and was burned. He is awake now and talking." When I asked how severe, or what the details of the situation were they said that they were not permitted to discuss this over the phone. So I was a wreck for the entire hour trip up to the hosptial.

When I finally was able to make it into the burn unit, the burn looked much worse than I had even expected. Justin had a second degree burn that covered his side and the upper half of his chest, toward the bottom of the pants line there was third degree burns. There was also third degree burns underneath his arm and armpit. After seeing the severity of the burns, I was just SO thankful that the Lord was with him. I knew that it could have easily been a worse situation than what it had turned out to be.

Since the accident last week, everything seems to be a blur. I have had little to no sleep with taking care of Avery and Justin. On a lighter note- the sleep deprivation have caused some pretty hilarious stories. Well, actually, before the accident occured the sleep deprivation was already taking a toll on me. Since Avery's teething had went into high gear, he was up all night a couple of nights. One morning when packing my lunch I actually forgot to put meat in my sandwhich. Seriously. Another morning I dropped Avery off at daycare without any bottles. So I ended up having to detour to kroger.

Since everything happened with Justin I have been so tired that my eyes were playing tricks on me. I seriously saw an animal in Avery's room that wasn't there... I freaked out and come to find out it was a basket. Ok, It was around 2am and it was dark. But as clear as day I saw a moving animal. The next night I woke up in the middle of the night and thought that water was running in the kitchen and ran to turn it off and ended up wiping out and gashing my knee.... and it wasn't on. I was in a half dream state... AND then there was a couple days ago when I had to go to CVS to get more meds and seriously past CVS and forget what the heck I was out doing.. When i finally got there, I layed my bank card down and walked out... I am a mess and in need of sleep. Even when Avery was a newborn, I at least had his nap times and day time to catch up... With working full time and taking care of Justin and Avery I am struggling... majorly.

On a praise note, Justin is progressing in the healing process though. He would like to start back to work on light duty on Monday. But we will see when that time comes. We had a grusome Dr. appointment this past monday where they did a scrub to the burns and removed the old tissue. It was probably to most painful thing I have ever ever witnessed. It was painful to watch. But it is just a part of the healing process. Also, some people from the church have been SO amazing. Not only have they kept us in prayer, but we have recieved a dinner every night this week so far. It makes such a difference to have support like that. Not to mention, It makes the load that I have with Justin and Avery a little lighter. And for that I am so thankful. Also, Justin recieved some awesome cards from the Children at the church.. They brought some good laughs going through them. I do not know how a family could get through things like this without the love and support of friends, family, and church family. For that we are so humbled and blessed!!!

If you are one of the friends/ family/ church family that have kept Justin in your prayers- thank you so very much!!!!!!!!!!!


Monday, September 20, 2010

prayers for Ave

What a weekend indeed.

Usually my monday morning posts are about how awesome of a weekend that I had and I go into details. This monday, not so much. So in case you aren't up to speed with Avery, Around the end of July he literally woke up one morning and was having breathing/weezing/hacking coughing issues. At first, like most people would assume I guessed that it was a virus or something that would pass with time. As a couple weeks past, it seemed to progressivly get worse, and more complications piled on top of the breathing issues. He ended up with pink eye, and sinus infection- both of which were treated and eventually passed. But the breathing issues have remained throughout the past couple of months. Which has resulted in many dr. visits over the last couple of months, tons of antibiotics, steroids, allergy meds, etc. All of which have seemed to do nothing to relieve his breathing problems. And on top of it all- he has missed his 6 month shots because it is not normal procedure to give vacinnes when a baby's immune system is low (or has been on steroids and meds.). And it's perfectly ok with me to not give him his vaccinne, but now the daycare is sending letters home asking that if he does not become current on his shot records that I need find other childcare options. Which puts a huge stressor on top of an already stressful situation.

Ok. So now your up to speed prior to this weekend.

So this past weekend, he went in for his 3rd 6th month well baby visit to see if he could get his vacinnes. I did not expect that he would get them especially being that his breathing issues have not got any better. So the dr. checks him out, writes another 6 prescriptions for him (no joke), and then tells me that I need to get his vacinnes/ flu shot now because the risks of not getting them outweigh the risks of getting them, and with all of the issues that he's had- his immune system is really low and an illness as simple as the flu could send him into the hospital... Talk about hard choices as a parent? I unwantingly gave in and let them give him the shots, meanwhile every logical part of me wanted to scoop him up in my arms and run. I accepted that I may not have the knowledge and capabilities and I needed to trust God and these dr's.. So I did.

That evening around midnight i decided to check on him since I hadn't heard a peep out of him the entire evening. Usually there is at least one time that he wakes and wants to be rocked or fed.. So, I felt his little head and it was burning hot.. 102.5. I freaked. (partially because I know this fever was a result of the vaccinees that *I* consented to). After spending the night on the phone with the dr. His fever finally broke and I was able to get a couple hours of sleep in. I took him to the hospital the next day where they ran some x-rays on him and luckily everything came back fine in the x-rays. But that still leaves us unknowing of what it is exactly causing all of this.

I guess it could be allergies and asthma, but his coughing/ breathing problems are not alleviated at all when treated like plain ol allergies or asthma... SO I don't know, but currently thats the only diagnosis that we have, so we are going to do the best we can.

I guess I am posting this for prayer. If you happen to read this, stop right now and pray for Ave. If it is allergies/asthma, pray that we can find the right meds to help him deal with this. Currently the meds he has taken the past couple of months has had little to no effect on him.
If it's something other than allergies/asthma pray for the dr's and that the Lord would give them the wisdom to figure this out. AND, pray for me and justin. Obviously, it's stressful. Especially as first timers. But maybe the correct answer is to seek other medical advice outside of our county. Maybe I need to ask for a referral. I don't know. I hope that whatever needs to happen, happens soon for little guys' sake!~


Friday, September 17, 2010


So I ordered this billy goat outfit for Ave's first halloween. I loved it except for the fact that it's light purple. Oh well! Still the cutest billy goat that I've ever seen!!!


Monday, September 13, 2010

I know you like this...

I've said it many times before, but I will say it again- since having Avery, my views of God have changed dramatically. It seems that every day I am reminded of how much God loves each of us. And not just that, but I can feel a new, deeper love than I ever have before.

But lately, I have been thinking about how I pray. It seems that when I pray, I pray to God as if he has no idea what is going on in my life. I will start off most of my prayers by "Dear, thank you for today and for my family... Soo heres whats going on in my life" and then I will go into detail after detail of every little thing that might be going on. Sometimes I find myself having this false sense of guilt if I forget to prayer about something.

So Yesterday, after making a trip back from portsmouth visiting my parents, Avery just became ultra fussy. He began to yell and scream, and it the midst of his crying spell I sensed that he wanted his blanket, binky, and just to be cuddled. So I swooped him up, grabbed the blanket and binky and sat in his room in the rocker. He instantly calmed down. I sat there looking at him look at me, and thought "isn't it amazing how I could sense his little needs to a detail. He didn't look at me and say 'Mom, I need a good cuddle' but I could feel what he wanted.. Because I know him. I know him better than I know anyone else in the world. I know what his cry for food sounds like. And I know what his cry for a cuddle sounds like. To others, they sounds the same, but to me.. totally different."

It was in that moment that I felt God's presense in almost an ironic tone say to me "I know you like this."

The idea that God knows me like this isn't new. I have known most of my life that God knows me. But as I held my son, and felt him say I know you "like this" my heart was touched because I finally could not only know mentally, but I could feel the type of love that God has for me.

I am realizing, that when I have a heavy burden on my heart I don't need to give him every detail as to what is going on and why I feel like I do. I need to bring Him my heart and attention. He knows the rest. He knows what I need, better than I do. What a blessing it is to know that I don't have to have all of the details figured out?


Thursday, September 09, 2010

ADT, the NON-security System

Have you ever watched one of the ADT commercials. A girl walks in her house when it's dark and rainey outside... She shuts the door, locks it, and turns on the ADT system. And the, BAM theres this crazy dude at the door with a crazy look on his face. He breaks down the door and the alrm goes nuts... And then 2.5 seconds into everything ADT calls and rushes the police over and they save the day... Yeah, pretty convincing right?- NOT.... Ok, so About 9 months ago or so we installed this ADT security system. I did it because A) I was 6 months pregnant and knew that there would be many home alone with a baby nights, B) Justin works night shift (hence A), and C) there were about a half dozen break-ins in the area. FYI: Staying home alone at night watching the nightly news does not help at all.
Anyway- so we installed the system and up until last night I had very little to complain about with them. For thoes who aren't aware of the house projects that are going on at my house let me give you a brief little update. Justin has been doing everything short of screaming and crying over wanting to build this extremely high end built in TV stand in our living room. I have been a little more frugal with the funds, so when he would ask to do projects like that I would look at the bank account and find at least 50 things that we could spend our money on that would be a better investment. In any case, when little Avery became the mobile little boy he is, he because quickly interested in pulling cords and pushing buttons (specially on Xboxs and tvs)..... Which led to me finally giving in to this huge tv stand project because it would in essense get all of the wires and cords and electronic devices off of the floor and out of reach of his sticky fingers.... which then led to the "should we paint the wall the same white color or change it up, questions (which he painted it a green) which then led to us having to paint the other 7 walls, yes 7 walls in the living/dining area.... which led to the "why don't we paint the front door since we have got all this painting gear set and ready for action.... SOOO yeah, needless to say our house looks like a hurd of stampeding cattle just took a swift trip though...
Anyway- back to ADT..... SO, last night we were in painting mode and Justin decides that he wants to remove the security system-monitor-laser-beam-thing to paint around it. As soon as he did this our alarm goes nuts. So i ran over and turned everything off.. I thought for sure that the ADT peeps would be calling me in 2.5 seconds like the commercial, ya know, but nothing happened, so I figured that it must not have set offf the system. I go get ready for bed, take a bath, get out and pack my lunch for the next day... I'd say a good 45min to and hour passes and then I get a call from ADT with this very official person who says " Mrs. MacQuarrie, we see that your alarm has been set off." I then, inform that "no, it's a mistake...yadda yadda" and get off....
After I got off I was like "what the heck?!!" Did they JUST call an hour after the alarm went off??? AND they didn't ask for a password or anything? When we set this whole system up, we had to set a password up so when they called I would say the password and  it would confirm that I was indeed 'Amber MacQuarrie.'... So I could have totally been a serial killer rapist that had us hostage, answer the phone, and be like "it's a mistake!" and all troops are called off!!! man, thats nice... Thats what I am paying 50 bucks a month for people!
Rip OFFF! Time to look into OTHER options!  THANKS ADT!!!!!!!!


Tuesday, September 07, 2010

That happy feeling!

So this weekend, Labor Day weekend was really great. Really needed too. I am sad that it has past so quickly, but we made some good memories, and were still able to be productive. We went to the caramel festival in winchester. Even though Justin and I have lived in the area almost 3 years, I had never made the trip down. Justin along with some others have always said that there really wasn't much it be seen. But, if you know me, I'm a festival type of girl so after 3 years of begging to make time to look at the Carmel festival I finally got my wish.
Most people were right that there wasn't a whole lot of boths or events, but I still loved being there.
We entered Avery into the baby show- which turned out to be fun. And he even placed 2nd in the baby show!  Here are some pictures.
BTW- Today is super awesome too BECAUSE Megan, my awesome friend has finally had her little Makenna!


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