Friday, February 11, 2011


Ok! Now that Avery is a full year old, I am really trying to figure out the *gulp* discipline* word.

When we had a child, discipline is probably the very last thing on the "what I should probably figure out" list. And now, I feel like the deadline is here and I still don't have it figured out.

A few weeks ago, I went to pick up Avery at our friend Rebecca's house. She then explained to me that a little boy had bit Avery. Honestly, I really wasn't phased by this. Yes, he got a little 'owie', but he's with other little kids and things like that will happen when he's with other kids. I probably could easily overreact (yes, Im a first time mom) and freak out, but I know that I can't put him in a plastic bubble.

But anyway- A few days later, Avery was upset at me because of the fact that he had picked up my cell phone and I had taken it from him " no Avery, that's not a toy", I said.

He then looked at me, wrinkled up his little forehead and and he began to scream, and throw his little body down on the floor. It was his first "fit". So I picked him up, set him on my lap and made eye contact "No.. that's not okay, Avery." I said with as stern as a voice as I could muster.I set him back down and tried to hand him a toy. He, again, thew his little body down on the floor .. and then he leaned in and.. bit me... yep. The little one year old bit...

and at that moment a couple things happened: A) I was taken back to the week prior when I was told by Rebbecca that another little boy had did that to him. Of course he had picked this up from other little ones, but that still doesn't justify his actions. And B) I realized that the "the disciple deadline" was here, and I needed to figure out what was right for us- like now.

So- At that point, instinctively, I gave his little hand a pat/smack. Enough for him to connect the two actions so maybe his little one year old mind will put the dots together and he would be like "OK, that's not OK for me to do"....And then I put him in the pack and play in our room for a few minutes. Yes, he wasn't a happy camper, but after a few minutes I went back in there and scooped him him and embraced him. It bothered ME more than I think the whole scenario bothered him. And then the realization hit me that I need to sit down with Justin and figure what our choice in disciplining Avery is going to be.


Don't we all just wish that we didn't have to disciple our children? HAHA. I mean, that they just came out perfect and kind?

But that is not the reality. And I am just starting to realize it. I have met wonderful parents on both sides of the spectrum when it comes to disciple (to spank/ to not spank). I think it's a very individual/ personal decision that we cannot force upon others.

I remember reading in Shaun Groves blog once when referring to God as a perfect parent" think of God birthing his children, naming his boy and girl, walking in the Garden with them. I imagine him planting those delicious trees, providing food enough. I see him talking with Adam and Eve face-to-face, spending quantity and quality time with his kids every day. I hear him protecting them, setting those all-important boundaries: you can do all this but definitely don’t do that over there.

And they still didn’t believe he had their best interests in mind.

They still didn’t trust him.

They didn’t eat right.

They still disobeyed

And they’re own kids wound up in a fight to the death.

Even perfect parents aren’t guaranteed an all-happy ending without regret, distrust, pain, and dysfunction."

There's no perfect parents or child out there, and I take comfort in that. I know that God knows my heart, and my love for Avery. God knows that I want to instill values and raise him to be a wonderful, respectful, loving man. I want him to know right from wrong, and to value discipline. Discipline is a key part of parenting and I am relying on God as I begin this journey!


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