Please pass the podcast….

So I believe I have found a new love- the podcast. I'm serious. If you would have told me that I would love the podcast two weeks ago- I'd probably respond with a "whaaa??".

You see, I 'm not tech savvy, I have an ancient box of a computer so downloading isn't exactly a pastime. I have bent over backwards to NOT become one of the dorks who watch televangelists and listen to PODevangelists. But I must confess, the other night around 8 pm , I stumbled across the beauty of the podcast. "Well, I am doing homework, so… It be nice to listen to something" I thought. I downloaded one podcast, secretly. I mean, it was just one…

The pod experience was euphoric. I laughed, I almost cried, I blogged.. I listened to the entire series…. Then another… and another, and another…. Around 2 am, I woke from the pod-trance. That night I went to bed trying to convince myself that it was the homework that kept me up, but I secretly knew the truth. The next day I sat at work shifting back and forth in my chair trying to pry my mind of the best writers, musicians and artists "I wonder if they have a podcast… I wonder…."

I was running to the computer checking out the newest podcasts … It was bad..

It's not easy to admit that you have a problem. I know.

So. With all that said. I'm starting a podcast- just letting you know. It's not that big of a deal, seriously…

But Look for updates when the first episode is posted.

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Mishaps of Ministry

So last night is over… Obviously. But it’s a little surreal for me.

In case you haven’t caught up with me, I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the past month because of the first 2007 visit day/ nightly concert—Both events in which I had oversaw. Mind you, this is the first time I had ever oversaw these kinds of events, so the whole experience was very educational.
I woke up this morning feeling like a new day. No, not because they are both over, but because I feel that God worked in both events. The visit day produced all of 12 people who came and spent the day on OCU campus. All 12 submitted applications, and the concert produced somewhere between 100-150 people. Of course the numbers were a bit shabby, but I really really felt like God worked in the Shaun Groves concert. 13 children were sponsored, and healing began to take place in the lives of individuals.

Somewhere between the fourth song and the last min of the concert, Shaun began to describe the church for the 20’s age group today. Non- existent. As I look around the room, I began replaying the stories of the individuals who surrounded me. When you become part of the small college community, it’s pretty hard to not get to know everyone, their mom, and their first cousin’s dog. I’ve hear a lot of “church stories” most with a sad ending. As I looked around the room, I saw broken people all within the 20 somes age range who hung their head as he talked about the neglect the 20 somes feel. I saw tears. I heard sniffles. I saw body language that feared exposure. The stench of brokenness hung over the 100-150 people who sat in the huge auditorium. I could relate… I felt broken…

He talked about the church who reminds us what we are saved from rather than what we are saved for.. Sometimes, I think we need to be reminded what we are saved for. What does Christ want to do through me? As early youth we are taught in the church that we can be anything, do anything, God has no limitations or barriers.. We cannot be held down. This is not bad, not at all…But I think that because of this, 20-some Christians today were never taught to deal with barriers and obstacles that would hinder them from ministry. I think we have a lot of 20-some Christian visionaries. Visionaries who were never taught the art of execution… They weren’t aware of the real barriers and obstacles that would arise and were never taught how to deal with them so we stay in our happy safe place where we can dream about the perfect church with the perfect ministries, because we are afraid of the obstacles and the unknown outcome. My generation is afraid of failure.

For example… I know that I have a heart for the mission field…I have felt a distinctive call to missions work almost 5 years ago. But I also know that if God said “go now”. My actions may be limited by financial barriers, emotional barriers and the tyranny of the “what if.” What if I’m not effective? What if I can’t raise the money?

Faith. It’s a simple truth that has been quenched from our instant gratification generation. We live in a world of minimum barriers, instant emails, and self help books. If something is too difficult and there is no easy way around, we give up.
Anyway, sorry for rambling, I suppose I have just came to grips with some of my own flaws and mishaps of ministry. Anyway, I’m curious, what do you think about the mindset and roles of the 20-somes age group of the church?

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Shaun Groves is coming!

Have I mentioned that Shaun Groves will be here on the 28th of Sep? He's working real hard...

Check this out.

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TGIF!

So it is Friday, thank goodness! The week has been a long grueling week of preparation for this fall, and as crazy as this week is, I know that next week is going to be even more hectic. I finished two grad school classes, paid all my bills, registered a trillion incoming freshmen and gave the ACT three times (three hour test)… So TGIF people!
I am spending my weekend in the wonderful little town of Winchester OH, where I am going to do a whole lot of nothing, which is sweet. I have no set plans, can you believe that?

Anyway, have a wonderful weekend, and you will here from me soon!

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When the Lights Go Out

So this past week has been hectic and crazy and nonstop and .. pheww. With the beginning of classes just around the corner this is undoubtedly the busiest time of the year for me.

So yesterday at work the lights went out. All of the electric throughout the entire campus just shut down, and for the entire day the staff were limited in what could be done. Initally, we all panicked. With classes and orientation and registration and life starting up in the next week, each of us began darting throughout the office like a chicken with it's head cut off. "But I have this meeting and this email that needs to go out and this file that needs to be sent and this and and and" …

Each of us had a to do list the size of Texas.

So after utter frutation with working in the darkness, we all migrated into the lobby area of the building that I work in. We sat. Ackwardly we listened to the silence and tried to force conversation as with each passing minute we fall behind in our schedule. The minutes turned to hours.

And then it happened.

It the midst of the silence, as if we all just caught the punch line to the joke we've heard a hundred times—We laughed. I'm not sure why, but for me, I laughed because I realized the absurdity of worrying, what little good it really does. I laughed because I think God did this on purpose—no, I know he did.

We loosened our ties (so to speak) sat back, and began to enjoy the dark room. We told jokes and stories and laughed about random things. It was one of the first times that I actually sat down with my co-workers, especially the co-workers that work on the opposite side of the buiding, and really got to know them. It was nice. It was needed.

Why is that? Why is it that God sometimes has to literally shut the business out of your life to get you to open your eyes to the guy down the hall in financial aid, who just happens to be preparing for daddyhood for the first time (with twins). Why is that?

It reminded me of the times at home. In Portsmouth, occasionally we would get hit by one of those massive storms that completely wipe out all electronic devices. No phone, to lights, no TV… nothing. And I remember as a child, and even most recently in my early college years, cherishing those times.

We would light every candle in the house, lay on the floor drinking kool aid and make a shadow puppets until our little arms had turned to jelly. And when we would get tired, we would just lay in the silence and listen to the rain… All of the family together.

Sometimes, I think God has to turn off the world to make you see what's actually right under your nose, at least he did for me.

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Falling for God...

I think you would’ve liked to meet Alma and Avery, my grandparents. My grandpa past away in 1995. My grandma, now 90 years old, is still a picture of health.
They fell in love in their early twenties in the hills of Kentucky, as they stayed that way for over 60 years.

Avery, and hard working N&W Railroad employee would spend hour and hours widdling with his tiny pocket knife on the back porch of their small white house in the heart of Southern Ohio. Alma stayed home and poured love into their five children, about 3,000 pots of her famous chicken and dumplins, and homemaid cherry pies. Avery liked to poke and tease Alma over anything he could get her to grin over. They were recklessly in love.

Once a week they would pack up their little white car and head to Sunday morning service in a tiny Freewill Baptist Church about a 30 min. drive south, in Kentucky. No instruments were at the church, just the voices of about 30 brothers and sisters in Christ. I remember listening to grandma sing all the way home. Seven days a week they would sit at the kitchen table, bow for prayer, and share a meal together. They never spent and evening away for the other. They were enmeshed.
Their marriage was for better or for worse- but mostly for the better.

As years past on and health began to fade, I as a small child, watched intently as Alma and Avery grew closer together. Avery had a heart condition and needed constant support in maneuvering throughout the house. My 100lb. grandma would drap her arm around my 6ft grandpa each and every day, 24hrs a day, for the last 5-6 years of his life and assisted in carrying the burden that my grandpa so bravely carried. I watched on the days he could hardly lift his own foot as my grandma would jump to his every whim and cater to his every need. I watched in those years as the “I love you”s became more frequent, the “Thank you”s became more sincere, the pauses in prayer before they said a final ‘amen’ , it was as if they were sharing a moment just for the two of them ...Alma was Avery’s light, and Avery was Alma’s. I, as a 12 year old 5th grader found discomfort with the “lovey- dovey- ewwy-gooeyness” of it all, so I found ease in faking an obliviousness to the obvious. But I would secretly watch. Secretly. Have you ever felt as if you were eavesdropping on something so amazing, so beautiful that it draws your attention so strongly? This was what I experienced every evening with my grandma and grandpa.


Today, when reading the ‘top’ relationship books and articles, I laugh at some perspectives. I laugh because some authors would say that Alma and Avery were too close—too enmeshed. Perhaps, but I don’t think so. I think the two were entwined in a wonderful way. Independence is the key, “Me time” I’ve heard said is important in a relationship. For the lives of Alma and Avery—the only time was “their time”. Alma would deny every hope of her own to fulfill the hopes of Avery, and Avery would deny every hope of his own to fulfill the hope of Alma.

Alma and Avery were just a couple ‘uneducated’ ordinary Kentucky folk who “got it.”They discovered a simple secret and acted on it—to realize the true value of one anthor and spend enormous amounts of time together.

Ya know, it makes me think. Developing a relationship with God is similar to developing a relationship like the one Alma and Avery had—no, it’s exactly like that.
As Gary Moon said it in his book Falling for God “ Transforming Love requires time and a vision of forever.”

That’s the requirement of falling head over heels in Love.

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I just feel like somethin good is about to happen

I must admit, the air of Circleville changes when the week of Mount of Praise Campmeeting approaches us. And although I am unsure about the details of how this week will go with it being held in the new Leadership Center, there is a certain amount of excitement that’s boiling up. Usually I can tell that Mount of Praise is a comin because
A. I wake up singing most all of the Gaither songs that I know. Today’s is “I just feel like something good is about to happen.”

B. I begin craving some homecooked Mount of Praise food

C. I catch the "southern slur" seeping back into my vocabulary. Yesterday I ask a friend "Can ah barrie (BAR-EE) some ...."

Yes, I’m a bit old fashion, But there’s just something about old time campmeeting that doesn’t compare to church. Maybe it’s the]songs that bring back childhood memories in the kitchen with my grandma or maybe it’s the time of family reunion. I must admit- I miss home. I’ve been a bit homesick after not seeing my family in over a month. One thing that Mount of Praise reminds me of is home. Only at Mount of Praise will I reunite with most of my college friends, old church family, and new church family all at the same time.

Campmeeting doesn't have to be 'Relevant to the age' or super entertaining, because well, thats not why people of all ages go to campmeeting. It's because campmeeting is a time of fellowship and revival- that's what makes it beautiful.
So.. yea..
I’m pretty excited about the upcoming week.

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Has anyone heard of a Fujitzu Computer? Well, me either. At least not until I became employed here at OCU where the magical machine o wonder was placed into my possession. I’m not sure where they derived from, but I’d venture to guess that this machine was put together on the early 80s. It’s huge, It’s slow, and it does weird things. It’s nearly crashed on me 4 times this year, and the cute lil thing likes to play hide and go seek with all of my files- one minute there on my desktop, next minute their gone.

So with all that being said, I have been on the search for the next step in the world of laptops.I think I have a tiny crush on the iMac notebooks. I know I know, I admit it. I was a die hard PC fan, blah blah blah… but I’m just going to put myself out here to you apple lovers who have tried many years to convert me and say, I’m sorry. Your right, I’m wrong.

Ok. Happy? You win.

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Where is heaven?...

The video makes me smile. No, not because it is so stinking cute (even though it is)- but because it gives me the most accurate picture of heaven in it's true form.

When I was a tiny lil thing I remember crawling up onto my grandmother's lap and asking her to describe heaven. I'd close my eyes and picture the golden streets lined with endless mcDonald's stands, cotton candy machines, and bubbles that never pop. As I grew older, I embraced the idea that everyone would be master harpist, and could totally rock the robes and classical music in all their glory.

But in all reality, heaven will be the simple, beautiful, unaltered fellowship with our Father, our 'Abba'. Pure laughter, love, and fellowship and the innocent obliviousness to all pain and suffering.

This video embraces that.

Joy, love and fellowship with our Father- in their purest forms.

people, thats heaven.

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I'm in the mood for Love baby

This weekend I went to Leigh and CJ’s wedding. I really don’t know what it is about weddings, but they seem to put the female minds on cloud nine. All of a sudden you want to rush home and watch the notebook and cry, you want to sit under a sunset and dream of the white picket fence and your future golden retriever named rover, you want to cuddle up in a blanket and watch CMT.
It’s sick..

Weddings are honestly like drugs for women. They mess with your emotions, man! If a guy really wants to hook the lady into a trance- he’ll talk about the wedding. It’s weird.

But anyway, it was a beautiful wedding and it was especially nice to see old friends. Afterwards, Justin, me, Megan and Robby went on a put putting adventure in Lancaster. It made me miss megan and all the goofiness that we go through. Gosh..

Yesterday, Justin and I got up early and went to First Church of Christ in Christian Union. I’m going to be honest here, not really having the solid connection within a home church for me has been wearing. You’d think that living in Circleville for 5 years would have provided the opportunity to find a home church… But it hasn’t. The entire 4 years of college I was on ministry traveling teams, choirs, and admissions teams. My admissions position,in the past year, had required A LOT of traveling on sundays. Lately however, I have been free, so I have been on the search for my “home church.” Not having the foundation of a home church for that amount of time is a dangerous thing. Church for the past 4 years had been apart of my job, and anytime you allow church to become a "job" you suffer.

I miss a church family. I miss discipleship and accountability that I had at home. I miss home. I miss the continual fellowship with people relentlessly seeking Christ. I miss Cedar St CCCU ( in portsmouth). It seems that nothing can compare to the church in which I spend the best part of my spiritual life. Most lately I travel back to Winchester with Justin, and I have to say the Winchester has come the closest to a home church for me. The people there are amazing and every aspect of the church is what I have been seeking for! however, the distance is really disheartening. I want to get involved in a church! As a result, I have been doing some reaaal praying. "God, do you want me in Circleville? Do you want me somewhere else???. It’s funny how anxious we get when trying to decipher what God wants for the present. When people ask about the future- I am quick to respond of my trust in Christ, but when someone asks about the present, its hard. I’ll admit.


Anyway, the sermon on Sunday was a simple message on the grace of God. It amazes me sometimes how such simple messages can cut so deeply. The church was warm and welcoming. There were lots of people that I know, which was great. So that may be something. Maybe. I just wish I had a clear cut picture of where God wants me to be. But I have learned to trust in his ultimate plans and I know that he will open the right doors at the right time.

After church Justin and I went to the Ted Lewis pool and swam for a couple hours with all of the lil kiddies, and later took a walk in the park. It was a peaceful Sunday.

And now.. its Monday- and yes, I do indeed have a case of the Mondays. lol.

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My DNA Profile

Concerned Creator

Today I took this personality profile. Here are my results.

Confidence
34

Openness
72

Extroversion
34

Empathy

98

Trust in others
50

Agency
18

Masculinity

8

Femininity
100

Spontaneity
96

Attention to style
64

Authoritarianism
100

Earthy/Imaginative
18

Aesthetic/Functional
96

My personalDNA Report

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The remote

You ever lose the remote control to the TV? I mean, for that brief moment in time there is nothing more important than finding that remote. For me, it is not so much being deprived of the opportunity to watch my shows, its more. It’s knowing that I simply do not have the authority over that dang television- the power struggle. There could be George W. knocking down my front door, but if I am in "remote controler finding" mode, than George would be on the waiting list. I think that says a lot about who I am. Sometimes I feel like I should be at a control anonymous meeting. “Hi, I’m Amber- and I am a controlaholic.”

Anyway-Our TV at home (before Rachel just bought the new one) was a unique one. You see, you could not do anything to the TV outside of using the remote. The off button, volume, and channel buttons all were disabled on the TV. so the remote was our only lifeline to the TV, and believe it or not, I lost the remote- a lot.

Today is one of those “I just lost the remote” days.

I woke up this morning late, ran to the office turned on my computer to find a little blue box that said, “Physical memory terminated”. I broke out into an instant sweat “delete, control alt delete, escape, off” my fingers were turning blue as I tapped away at my computer. All of my office files that I have stored for the past year began running through my head, my organizer, my grad school papers, all of my pictures. In an instant, they were gone.
That was my morning.

Later on today, I accessed my bank account to find a negative balance. It is life. It happened.

Sometimes you miscalculate your budget and have negative charges.
Sometimes your computer crashes.
Sometimes your homework is late.
Sometimes you lose control.

I am going to just lay it out. I am a mess of a person. Today- the realization was sobering. Control is an interesting concept for a Christian. Were taught most of our adolescence to not provide it to another person, we try to gain it, and once attained—Christ says “give it to me”.

“Give me your fears, your hopes, your miscalculated budget, and your crashed computer. Give me all of your mess and mistakes. Give me control.”

Today I have found comfort in knowing that I do not have the remote. I cannot control the volume or static channels of life. I just can’t.

But I know who does have the remote.

And I trust Him.

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Ouch... it burns

Yesterday I stabbed myself. It was bad.

After a long day of work, I decided to treat myself with the food of the gods, hamburger helper (three cheesy blends). So I get my frozen meat out of the freezer and begin trying to slowly remove the plastic, unfortunately my impatience began to boil over so I did the most rational thing that an impatient person would do. I pulled out my handy, machete like knife and begin cutting open the hamburger. Because the bigger the knife the faster it will work.. right?

And then it happened.

I stabbed myself really really deep in my thumb. I learned very quickly what the pursuit of instant gratification will get you- stupid results. Had I just waited and slowly tore away the plastic instead of shortcutting (no pun intended) my way to the hamburger I would not be sitting here with a gashed open thumb.


So my roommate removes herself from her own work, comes to my rescue pulls the bloody knife out of me (not really), grabs her first aid kit, wraps my hand in swaddling cloth and then cooks my hamburger helper for me while I lay a bask in the pain of my stabbed thumb..

People, that’s a friend.

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I must Announce.

I must announce.... ehhh emmm... my favorite artist of all time will be joining us, and I am super excited... i mean.. woa...

Shuan Groves

Sep 28th at 7:00pm

Ohio Christian University in the Leadership Center

Cost: $5.00

Who's invited? everyone!

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summer days

Haven’t blogged much this week- or this year.. But I’m trying to get myself back into the groove. I’ve got no fancy videos to post either. I’ve been too tired or busy with work and school to think straight.

Tonight, for instance, right now, it’s 1:02 am and I need to go to bed because the alarm will go off at 6:30 AM But here I am catching you all up on my week...as if you’re really that interested and it’s really that fascinating.

Since there are tons of things going on, I guess I will start from scratch with the most recent events. Last Thursday we met up with Jeni and Craig. They were partly here for work purposes, but mostly to hang out with me.. not justin.. me.. anyway it was good times bowling, walmarting, eating..
check it out.


We were bowling... and losing.



Walmarting cowboys!



"Can I please have 'Cars'.. please please please please????"



This past weekend we had registration for new students. It was crazy busy, but when all is said and done we had 40+ students registered for fall semester, that’s not counting the 30 that registered last month (and we still have two more registrations). So far, the next year’s class is so exciting, very talented and on fire. But let me just say, after last week’s hectic registration I could have easily plopped down into a whole and went into some serious hibernation. I was that tired.

Saturday I spent the best part of my day at a local festival here in Circleville called “My Fest” behind the OCU booth. I must say, considering how new this thing is I was really impressed with the turnout. Tons of Christian artists, face painting, skateboarding tournaments, basketball tournaments, blow up slides and jousting, art, food and cotton candy all for FREE. Yes, free… I met some pretty neat bands and totally loved it.

After arriving at this thing I gave Justin a call and about an hour later he came by to help with the booth. We decided to grab some food and long story short we started goofing off and I ended up with a water bottle emptied OVER MY HEAD.. I was ticked. Seriously on a “ticked” scale of 1-10, I was about an 11… Normally this would have been no big deal, but I had to work the booth and I looked like a little homeless girl. Justin was not remorseful. I did however decide to get over it, suck it up, and look like a homeless girl at the OCU booth for another hour. Which I did.
Later that evening Justin and I decided to head to Chillicothe for the evening. There we went to Sam’s Club, The movies, H.H Greg, and El Casa del Taco. Justin won me an ugly bear in the movie’s claw machine.



And that was the weekend





More to come… I promise

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hum yea

So guess I am going to try to continue this blogspot thing. Thing is.. I can't figure it out. I haven't took advantage of the half the features because, welp, its so dang complicated, and right now, I need simplicity... But i thought "what the heck, lets give this baby a try."

So the other day I get to go to a wedding which was great great fun. But before I went I jumped in my little green minivan and slam the door as usual but for some strange reason it wont latch shut at all... So continue to slam it and slam it until finally it shuts- but then the lil stinker doesnt want to open. So my van and I go through the whole schpeel over and over unitl finally i give up and decide to deal with it. I get to the wedding and after it was over I get ready to leave, get into my van and then to no suprise of my own does not want to shut... so yea... it stinks and im the cool one that has to climb out of my van door from the opposite side of the van... whateva

So life's great. Just returned from NYC this weekend, which was great, hanging out with Carson Daily and the guy that played Spiderman.. yea. im cool.. but seriously, lots of fun in the city. Did some singing, bought some freakishly awesome purses, ate at Planet Hollywood at 2 am,drove around in a big white van with a U-haul attached to it through the city and Harlem, watched as Iaan got hit on by some jiggalo (i dunno how to spell it and i dont have motivation to look it up- so deal) ... good times.

ok... just lost motivation to type anything more. sorry

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Black Satin Sheets

ok... this will be a short blog, but I had to get my blog fix for the night. Today was a good day, I got to sing in General Council, help Rachel move some more belongings into my house, have late night Tim Horton laughs and deep thoughts about life love and other mysteries with Rach, Jess, and Richard, BUT the kicker for the night was my splurge at walmart...
Black Satin Sheets. Always wanted some, but never really had the proper opportunity to get em.. But tonight as I walked somewhat sad and pathetically through walmart I thought "Amber, desperate times call for desperate measures." So I marched my way to the sheet aisle and got them. It was nice. Jess warned me that it was kind of impuslive but I didn't care.. As soon as I walked through the doors of my little apartment and threw off the skanky yellow flanel sheets and put these puppies on the bed, I felt like heaven had just sent a handful of angels down for me to lay on... People, black satin sheets are amazing. Jess recommended Pink, but I can't say for sure, but I am convinced that only the black ones gives the sureal heavenly touch.. all that matters is I am going to bed with a smile tonite- and tonight I will..
Tomorrow I will post about the first night with the black satin sheets..

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so the journey begins

I have decided the since life brings change, I might as well jump on the bandwagon of change.. I had to sadly part with my beloved friend- xanga of 2 years..I know I know, we had been through alot, and at one point I thought xanga and I would be a forever thing, but you see, xanga and I, I guess we had just came to a point in our relationship where I wasn't happy, or "fulfilled" I should say. I wanted more, like premium with all of it's splendor and glamour- with the ability to post as many pics as possible without having to give alot, I mean- it is about me... just me.... Xanga just didnt offer what blog spot did, forget our memories, countless long entries that xanga saw me through, the past is the past people. Yes, xanga offed to fix it, to work on it, but listen when you have the opportunity to taste blogspot, theres just not a real comparison. So I have officially chosen blog spot...

BUT.... I must admit, I haven't closed my xanga account. I know what it looks like people, but seriously its alright. I mean, xanga and I, we aren't exactly on the best terms and I have been meaning to end it honestly, I just havent had the proper opportunity. And it wasn't like blog spot was really planned out ya know. I happened to be blogging around one late night a week or so ago, and there I saw her.. blog spot..My heart began to race and it felt good to talk to her. I knew that xanga and I were in a rough patch so I thought "a little window shopping won't hurt." One thing led to another and here I stand. So, I guess I will just let xanga believe that I am still faithful to her, just for now though. It's not really "cheating" if its just a day or two..

Oh no, Don't look at me like that.
I know what your thinking, and yea, maybe it is a little dirty. But I have to do what I want for a change.

I'm not a bad person.. It's just something I have to do, ya know, for me...It's about me... I want complete happiness. There were times that xanga just would not connect, ya know.. I know it was two years and yea, I guess times like COULD happen within the timespan of two years..but who cares.... its all about ME, and right now at this moment my instant gratification comes souly from blogspot, and you can't change my mind.

So...If you see xanga, I know her heart will be broken.. I know.. just let her know its alright. Other bloggers will come and go before she knows it. Sure I trampled her heart like a hurd of stampeding cattle, sure I ripped up her future dreams of blogging with me, sure I told her I'd never leave or betray her.... Sure... but like i said... its alright.

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