Monday, May 16, 2011

Reality Check

When you have a child, all of a sudden there are random moments in the midst of your daily life, that you get interrupted and you hear God say"that's what I'm talking about !"
That's been me, alot. lately.
The other day Avery was literally climbing up (or at least attempting to climb up) the entertainment center. You see, on top of the entertainment center sets many coooool gadgets. Gadgets that light up, or buzz, or are just bright colored (tv. remotes, our phones, wii/ xbox controller). So when I caught him in mid action,  I ran over to Ave and picked him up. I pulled him away from all of the distractions and bent down to make eye contact. You see, every single blog and book I have came across that gives methods of discipline has said that making good eye contact with your little one is key to getting across the message. Yes, he's only 14 months old, but I know that if I do not start practicing some of this now, it will NEVER be effective.
 SO anyway-  back to the story. I caught the little monster climbing, so I picked him up and took him out of the living room. But the thing is, although I had literally removed him from the distractions and bent down to make eye contact and let him know that it was not okay to climb, his little eyes were darting across the room. He was standing right in front of me, but looking past me, squirming and whining. He was more interested in what was behind me or beside me and we seriously struggled for several minutes. I stood him in front of he and gently held his shoulders enought to keep him still....  I knew that I couldn't give up! I knew I could not just say "ok nevermind, go play" I sat there and starred so hard at him until his little eyes FINALLY met mine. It took some tears. It took some real patience. But finally, His little eyes stopped darting. His cries finally quieted down, and he looked at me in the eyes. I was able to finally say "No, you can't climb up there". Andit seemed like he got it!
So after that little ordeal happened and he was back in action playing with his toys. I sat down on the couch drinking my coffee, just thinking about how hard it was to get that simple message across. It wouldn't have taken so much energy, had he just stopped! .. And then, BAM... I could feel the presence of God. I could feel God saying to me "that's what I have to do to with you, Amber!"
So many many many times in my life and even now I can see that God is trying to teach me to look my Heavenly Father in the eyes. When there is a crisis either big or small, I will shoot up a prayer all the while my eyes are more distracted on what's on either side of my life. Although I say with my mouth, I'm trusting God, I am spiritally looking to my left and right. My focus is not Him. When I have a burden, I'm so consumed with it, that I although God is there, starring me down harrrd (like I did with Ave) I am still like a panicked mess.. When I have desires of my heart, like being home with Avery more, I rarely tell God. Instead I try to work out the kinks and finances and never truly give it to God.  I know God wants me to be still, and make eye contact, listen.. But I'm like a 14 month old child who struggles to focus on the thing right in front of my face!!
Ok. I realize that I am blabbering a little.
  But That's been my epiphany over the weekend. And I am realizing just how hard it is to stop and focus.... which makes me a little more sympathetic for the 14 month old that had to get pulled from the entertainment center a half dozen times even after "he got it"... yes I get frustrated, but I never give up on getting that message across. And I know God doesn't give up either. He's there, starring me down (in a loving way of course)!.
Anyway- I do want to apoligize for the lack of posts. I could probably list 300 reasons why I haven't posted lately, but I'm not gonig to. I will say, I was pleasantly surprised to get a few emails about some waiting on a new post. So sorry for the 3-5 people who actually read this crazy thing! ;)


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